The Joys of Travel

There was a time in my life when my wife and I could easily leave our abode in order to arrive on time (or close to on time) at our destination. I used shake my head at those parents who would arrive 5, 10, 15 minutes late with crying children in tow and a slightly crazed look in their eyes. I remember those days...those were good days.

Departing the house is now an ordeal. I have to, in my mind, plan an extra hour and a half for all scheduled departures and schedule about 3 weeks of prep-time if it involves an overnight stay. We are going to Chicago in mid February for 8 days....I started slowly packing bags about two weeks ago.

The one benefit about travel, more specifically air travel, is that I am now a "parent with small children." You know, the ones who get to board the plane before everyone...that's right all you suckers standing up 15 minutes before it's your turn to get on the flight, that's me with the small child getting on first....boooooyah! This, in my opinion, has got to be one of the biggest perks about having a child. Of course, this perk is immediately offset by the fact that your flight promises to be 10x more stressful than it ever used to be pre-child and because not only are you making everyone in line bitter because you get to board the flight first, but you are eliminating the possibility of a pleasant/quiet flight. So you can bet I am going to live up every second of my pre-boarding glory...

I think the real reason airlines allow "parents with small children" on first is to let everyone know who is to blame for the upcoming unpleasant flight. It's like they are saying "we try to make our flights pleasant for all of our passengers, we really do....but every once in a while some young parents think it is a good idea to travel with their new child....so when you are trying to sleep but cannot because of the screaming child three rows behind you, we are not to blame. Take a good look at these people, it is their fault not ours." I am already seriously considering getting a second job so I can pick up the drink tab for all passengers in the rows immediately in front, behind, and to the side of where we are sitting.